Of Course! Don't You Know Anything About Magic?
by Deadpoolio
Summary: One reviews comic books on the Internet, the other is an inept sorceress. They fight crime. And societal corruption. And...psychopathic monarchs. And...long standing racial prejudices? Things may have gotten a bit complicated.
It was a beautiful spring day in Washington D.C. The sun was shining, the birds were singing, and a pudgy internet geek had just checked out of his hotel and was beginning to make his way back to his home in Minneapolis. He stepped out of the lobby, luggage in tow, and took a moment to reminisce on the weekend he had. Lewis Lovhaug, also known as Linkara, had been invited to a convention where he performed his live show, hung out with his fans and fellow online entertainers, and even got to spend time with his girlfriend. All in all he had a great time. He wore his usual travelling attire: brown boots, a pair of brown pants, a white button down shirt, a brown neck tie, a brown vest, a brown trench coat (which was currently held under his arm because of the nice weather), and topped off by a pair of glasses and his trusty brown trilby. He really did wear a lot of brown now that he thought about it.

As he walked through the parking lot, he took out his pocket watch and checked it. Realizing he still had plenty of time, he decided to take a stroll and enjoy the sights and weather. He walked along the sidewalk, cars rushing past, as he continued to contemplate the weekend he just had and the future ahead of him. He figured that he hadn't reviewed a particularly bad comic in awhile so he would have to go through his collection and find a real stinker. Plus he needed to look over the designs for the new shield generator Dr. Linksano was working on. There were also the weekly diagnostics he'd have to go over for Nimue, Pollo and the Cybermats. He was not taking any more chances with his robots getting taken over again.

As he passed by an alley way, the sound of a faint impact reached his ears. He stopped and listened closely. More impacts and what sounded like someone crying in pain came from deep in the alley. Knowing what was happening, he quickly opened his luggage and pulled out the holster containing his Magic Gun, strapping it in place at his hip and putting on his trench coat. Appearances were important when making an entrance. He made his way into dark, trash strewn the alley, following the sounds until he could hear and see them clear as day despite the darkness. Two men, one with baseball bat, were attacking someone on the ground. They seemed to not notice his approach and he took the opportunity to hide behind a nearby dumpster. He reached down to his hip and placed a hand on his gun.

"Ready, Margaret?" he thought to his Magic Gun.

"Always, Partner," she replied.

He removed his hand and stepped from behind the dumpster.

"Hey!" he said loudly, getting their attention. "Leave him alone."

The goons took one look at Linkara and started laughing.

"Hey, this tool thinks he's Batman" said the unarmed punk between bursts of laughter. Linkara couldn't help smiling at the comparison.

"Oh yeah? Well I'll show him who's a real bat man," replied the one with the bat. He walked over but stopped short. Linkara had reached to his hip and pulled out his Magic Gun.

"Oh shit!" cried the armed crook and he and his cohort ran out of the alley in fear.

Linkara hosltered his gun once more and made his way over to the injured man.

"Hey, are you okay?" he asked, trying to help the man up.

"Augh! I think they busted a few of my ribs," said the man, pain evident in his voice.

"Hold on, I'll call an ambulance," Linkara replied, his phone already in his hand.

Fifteen minutes later, the ambulance was on it's way to the hospital with the injured man. After relocating his luggage, Linkara pulled out one of his communicators and pressed the switch to speak into it.

"Come in, Comicron-1. I'm ready to come home."

And with a brief burst of light a second later, the alley was empty of people and luggage.

* * *

The inter-universal starship known as Comicron-1 was currently in geosynchronous orbit around the Earth. Once the teleportation ended, Linkara stepped on to the bridge of his ship with his luggage and gazed through the view screen into the vastness of space.

"Welcome back, Linkara," came the voice of NIMUE, the ship's artificial intelligence.

"Thank you, NIMUE, good to be back," he replied, turning to look at the monitor displaying her green eye emblem. "Status report?"

"Information: No enemies or anomalies were detected during your absence All operations are running at optimal efficiency."

" Good, very good. And what of the crew?"

"Information: Doctor Linksano is currently sleeping after working on the new shield generator for three days straight. Harvey Finevoice is on tour in Las Vegas. The Ninja Style Dancer is also away on tour. Pollo is recharging at his docking station. Boffo The Clown is at his accounting office. The whereabouts of 90's Kid are still unknown."

"I see. Continue your search for him and report even the tiniest clue as to where he went. He's been gone for over a year now, how is he avoiding detection by the most advanced ship on the planet?"

"This unit will continue as requested. Information: perhaps he is receiving assistance?"

"It's possible but who could be giving it to him?"

"This unit can not say for certain."

"None of us can."

Linkara turned back to looking into space a while longer. The planet Earth resting below and the Sun in the far distance always gave him a sense of how big the universe was and how small he was in comparison. He turned away to look upon the bridge. It's glowing green lights and dark brown and black coloring always made it seem so dark yet there was never any trouble seeing. But that would seem to come with the territory of being an alien space craft. The large V emblems lining the walls were always a constant reminder of the lingering dangers that were out there. One of these days he and his crew should get around to remodelling the place. He would have to put these thoughts aside for the moment. After all, he had work to do.

"NIMUE, prepare to teleport me to the apartment."

"Acknowledged."

"And NIMUE, keep up the good work."

"Thank you, Linkara."

"You are most welcome."

And with another flash, Linkara was gone.

* * *

The apartment was the same as it was when he left, shelves filled with comic books and the various bits of merchandise he'd collected over the years, his filming equipment set up in front of his futon couch... and the garbage he had forgotten to take out before he left. Well no time like the present. Linkara made his way to the garbage can in the kitchen, passing by Eliza the Foam Walking Lizard who was sitting on the counter top and drinking her usual cup of coffee.

"Morning, Eliza," he said to her as he tied the garbage bag and lifted it from the can.

"Hey, Linkara," she replied, "How was your trip?"

"Fantastic as always," he said jovially, "I love being able to travel and meet my fans like this."

"Do you think you can take me with you next time?"

"I don't see why not. I'm sure you'll have a great time, Eliza. Now if you'll excuse me, this garbage won't take itself out," he replied, making his way to the front door, garbage bag in hand.

"See you in a few minutes then," she called as he passed through the door.

* * *

The trip down to the dumpster behind his apartment building was as uneventful as one would expect when taking out the garbage. Although by this point in his life, Linkara was expecting a villain of some kind to pop up since they've appeared everywhere else by this point. As he made his way back up to the apartment, he took the time to start planning the next episode of Atop The Fourth Wall. His mind wandered to the various horrible comics in his collection. He needed to come up with a real doozy this week, something that would really kick the week off. As he arrived at his apartment, he took out his keys to open the door, but due to being preoccupied with work, he hadn't noticed that the door was glowing a faint green. Nor did he notice that, when he unlocked and opened the door, that there was no doorway but instead a glowing green vortex. It was only when he stepped through the door that he noticed that his foot never touched the ground, and that he was in fact falling through a glowing green vortex.

* * *

The space between space. The zone between dimensions. There existed nothingness in this non place. No light, no sound, not even darkness. There was simply nothing. Except, for the first time in time immemorial, there was a sound. Sound uttered by a pudgy internet geek who was once again being dragged into another chapter of the supernatural mess that was his life.

"Crrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaapppppppppppppppppp!"

* * *

After what felt like hours of flying or falling or something, Linkara couldn't really describe the sensation, he finally hit something solid.

"Ow."

It wasn't a particularly hard landing but it was more unexpected than anything else. As he pushed himself up, he felt what he believed to be grass under his hands but couldn't quite tell at the moment because he was surrounded by what appeared to be dust and smoke. Maybe he landed harder than he thought. He checked himself and found that everything seemed to be where it should be. As Linkara checked to see if his glasses were broken or not, he thought he heard voices coming from beyond the cloud. He couldn't quite make out what was being said because his ears were ringing for some reason, as if he'd been in the middle of an explosion. He reached for his Magic Gun and pulled it from it's holster just in case the owners of the voices were hostile. He could make out what sounded like a young girl yelling and what also seemed like... laughter?

The dust began clearing and Linkara could finally start to make out where he was. It appeared to be about mid day, the sky was mostly clear save for a fluffy white cloud here or there. He was standing in a grassy field with mountains off in the distance to one side and a forest off in the other. But what really surprised him was what was in front of him: teenagers. A gathering of teenagers, all dressed near identically, white shirts, dark pants for the males and skirts for the females, all wearing capes, standing in front of a large medieval looking castle and surrounded by various magical looking creatures. An older looking man stood nearby, he wore long, dark colored robes, a pair of glasses, had very little hair, and held what looked like a wooden staff. And standing front and center was a young girl of about thirteen years, with long pink hair and an expression of partial shock and 'try me and I'll blow you to pieces'. Oh no.

She turned and spoke to the older man, her tone denoting exasperation and resignation.

"Can't I have another chance?"

"I'm afraid not, Miss Valliere. Despite it's... unorthodox nature, you have successfully completed the summoning," the man replied, confirming Linkara's suspicions.

"If I must," she said in resignation before turning to Linkara, "You, come here."

"No," Linkara replied, his face a mask of seriousness. This seemed elicit more laughter from the crowd.

"How dare you deny an order from your superior! You will step forward and be branded this instant!"

"No, I won't. You think that you can take me from my life and expect me to obediently become your servant? That's not going to happen."

"Who do you think you are to defy me?!"

She raised her wand in indignant fury in an attempt to force him to submit but Linkara was ready. He raised his gun at the furious girl and pulled back the firing hammer.

"The name's Linkara and I wouldn't do that if I were you."

A silence passed through the crowd, partly of shock and partly of amusement. The older man took up a ready stance, his staff held defensively.

"Lower your weapon!" he commanded, his voice and face becoming deadly serious.

"Only when she lowers hers first," Linkara replied, disliking his current situation more and more.

The pink haired girl could not believe this.

"You would dare raise that commoner weapon at a Noble?!"

"To be fair, I don't exactly like it when people try to cast spells at me," he replied, "I don't want anyone to get hurt but I'm not afraid to defend myself."

"Lower your wand, Miss Valliere," requested the teacher.

"I refuse!" the indignant Valliere girl replied, "How dare this lowborn scum think he can threaten me!"

"Please, Miss Valliere. He claims he does not wish to cause harm, I will deal with him if he were to try anything."

"But he-"

"Please, Miss Valliere."

She hesitated for a few moments but eventually acquiesced to her teacher's command.

"Thank you," Linkara said as he lowered his gun but did not holster it.

The teacher stepped closer to the two, though his features were no longer serious, Linkara noted that his grip on his staff never lessened.

"I apologize for my student's rashness," he said.

"It's completely understandable though I should be the one apologizing," Linkara replied, feeling slightly relieved now that the situation had been defused.

"I am Professor Colbert and these are my students," he said, gesturing to the crowd of young people roughly twenty feet away, "And of course you've already met Miss Louise Valliere."

"I'd say it's a pleasure to meet you but you both were this close to blowing my head off. On to business, is it possible to reverse whatever spell it was that brought me here?"

"I'm afraid not, the Summon Servant spell only works one way."

"Of course," Linakra said dejectedly, "Magic is never that convenient."

"And what would you know of magic?" inquired the girl now known as Louise.

"I can use it, for one."

"No one who uses a commoner weapon could possibly be a mage."

"I'll prove it then."

"There is no need," interjected Colbert, "I will simply cast a detection spell on you and that will settle things."

Linkara then stood perfectly still as Colbert waved his staff over him and muttered an incantation. As he finished, a look of confusion came across his face.

"There must be some mistake, young man, but I'm not detecting any magic from you."

"That can't be right, I've used magic plenty of times."

"Not only is he a violent brute but he's a liar as well," Louise remarked sanctimoniously.

"I'm telling you, I can use magic."

"It would appear that a demonstration is required after all," said Colbert, still looking perplexed.

"Yes, show us your 'magic'," Louise said.

Linkara raised his gun once more, pointing it at the ground roughly fifteen meters away from everyone, and pulled the trigger. A burst of crimson light lanced out of the barrel and struck it's target with explosive force. Where there was once a patch of grass and dirt there was now a hole of about two feet deep. When he turned back he noticed that all of the students, Louise included, looked like they would suddenly start running in terror. He also noticed the rather sizable fireball floating above the end of Colbert's staff and inches from his face.

"Everyone return to the castle," Colbert commanded, his voice and face returning to deathly seriousness.

All of the students took off from the ground and flew back to the castle, some faster than others. Louise instead ran back for some reason.

"You'll have to come with me," Colbert said, sounding like he would immolate Linkara if he so much as blinked.

* * *

The Headmaster's office was as one would expect. A large wooden desk, a large chair behind it, bookcases lining the walls, and various other objects Linkara didn't recognize at the moment but he was sure were magical in some fashion. A smaller desk sat off to the side, most likely belonging to a secretary or deputy of some kind, and a large window took up most of the wall behind the big desk. Linkara sat in one of the chairs in front of the desk, one leg crossed over the other and his hands rested in his lap. He looked at the Headmaster, who was seated behind his desk and whispering with Colbert, and waited. The old man in question was dressed in long grey robes and had a long white beard and hair. He reminded Linkara of a mix of Gandalf and Dumbledore but not quite.

As the hushed conversation came to a close, the Headmaster turned began speaking.

"Now... Linkara, was it?"

"Yes," Linkara replied, still not in a good mood.

"I am Osmand, the Headmaster of the Tristain Academy of Magic. After conferring Professor Colbert," he said, gesturing to the balding teacher, "I would now like to hear your side of the events."

"Fine. I had-"

Suddenly there was a knock on the door.

"Who is it?" called Osmand.

"It's me, sir. I have some paperwork that requires your attention," came the muffled female sounding voice.

"Ah, Miss Longueville. Do come in, won't you?"

The door opened to reveal a woman who appeared to be in her mid to late twenties. She had long, dark green hair tied into a ponytail and wore a purple cloak over what appeared to be the same kind of robes that Colbert wore. She approached the Headmaster's desk, indeed carrying a stack of papers. As he watched her, Linkara couldn't help feeling like there was something off about her. She seemed like a pleasant person but there was something that gave him a sense of unease.

"These are the current class schedules as well as the bi-monthly budget reports," she said as she placed them on the big desk.

"Ah yes, I will go over them when I can. Is that everything, Miss Longueville?"

"Yes sir," she replied and turned to leave, but not before sniffing the air. "Sir, have you been smoking again? You know it's bad for your health."

"I've already told you, Miss Longueville, I've given it up for months. And before you ask, yes, I still have my pipe but I only keep it for decorative purposes."

"Very well, sir," she replied and turned to leave. As Linkara watched her go, he thought he saw her briefly look at him out of the corner her eye and the uneasiness grew. Once the door had closed, Osmand opened a drawer in his desk, pulled out an ornate pipe and began to light it. Somehow Linkara wasn't surprised.

"Now back to the matter at hand," the elder man said as he took a drag from his pipe, "You were about to tell us your side of things."

"As I was saying," Linakara began, now with less of an edge in his voice, "I had just returned home from a trip and was preparing to resume my job when I was pulled into an interdimensional vortex. Next thing I know, I'm landing outside this castle where some pink haired spoiled brat thinks she can enslave me. I tell her no and try to defend myself when she doesn't take it well. I then tried to defuse the situation by saying that I can use magic too and she wants proof which I demonstrate. Now, everyone is suddenly terrified of me and running for their lives while I've been brought here to be interrogated. You can understand if I seem a bit irritated."

"Hmm, that does seem to add up with Professor Colbert's account of events," the old man considered, "Tell me, is it true that you cast the spell in question with your weapon instead of a wand?"

"Yes but so what? Don't you possess magical weapons here? And besides, it wasn't a specific spell so much as it was a burst of magical energy. And not a very big one either."

"We do but only in the form of wand swords, we've never heard of anyone using a gun as a magical focus," said Colbert, speaking for the first time and sounding almost excited, "Are you by chance a practitioner of Ancient Magic?"

"Isn't all magic ancient?"

"Well yes but I am referring to a form of magic far older than what we practice now."

"I don't even know what kind of magic you do practice. Aside from what I assume is a summoning ritual of some kind."

"Professor Colbert is referring to the Ancient Magic of the elves," said Osmand, taking another drag of his pipe.

"What does that have to do with everyone being afraid of me?"

"The elves have been our mortal enemies for thousands of years."

"Again, what does this have to do with anything? I'm clearly not an elf."

Colbert and Osmand turned to each other in confusion and began whispering again. They conversed for roughly a minute before turning your attention back to Linkara.

"Pardon our bluntness but you don't seem to know much of anything about Tristain or Halkeginia as a whole. Where are you from exactly?"

"That all depends on where I currently am," Linkara replied, "And you still haven't answered my question."

"Well you see, elves are incredibly powerful warriors. Their magic allows them to take on a squad of Human mages single handedly," Colbert explained this time, "And anyone who is caught practicing Ancient Magic is branded as a heretic."

And suddenly everything began to make sense to Linkara. Oh joy.

"Would I be correct in assuming that a church is saying all of this?" he asked.

"Yes you would," answered Osmand, "The Church of Brimir is very strict on this matter."

"This is just fantastic," Linkara said, the edge returning to his voice, "How can this get any worse?"

A look of dawning realization and horror suddenly came to the Headmaster's face. Linkara was now mentally kicking himself.

"Oh no. Oh no, this is not good."

"What is it, sir?" Colbert replied worriedly.

"Colbert, I need you to go and halt all outgoing mail."

"Sir?"

"Hurry, Colbert. I will explain once you've returned."

As he watched the Professor leave, Linkara became more worried.

"What's going on?" he asked, fear creeping into his voice.

"I pray that I am wrong but I do not recall ever being that lucky. I have realized that one of the students who was present at your summoning may attempt to contact their parents in order to alert the Church about you. I pray Professor Colbert will make it in time."

"Are they going to be after that Louise girl too?"

"She is the one that summoned you so there is a chance of it, I am afraid."

"How could they do that?! She didn't even do anything wrong!"

"The laws are very strict and there are no exceptions, no matter who you are."

The fear and dread continued to build within Linkara. He was the one with strange magic, not her. This was all his fault and he had to set this right.

"What can you tell me about Louise Valliere?" he asked in the hope that he could learn something that could solve this.

* * *

Louise was dead. Well, not literally but she might as well be. She hid under the covers of her bed, contemplating what would happen to her. It was obvious what would happen, she summoned a monster, so it was natural that an execution squad would be sent for her. But O Founder, what if her _mother_ found out? She couldn't bring herself to imagine it. The execution squad would be so much more preferable. Was it not enough that her magic was faulty? Was she truly cursed? Did the Gods and The Founder truly hate her this much? She might as well do it herself and save them all the trouble. But no, that would not do. She was a Valliere, and if it was her destiny to face death, then she would do it with the dignity and decorum that befitted her name, regardless of the shame it would bring to her family.

Suddenly there was a knock at the door. No, she thought, it must be her imagination. After all, who would want to associate with a heretic? Then the knock came again. Perhaps she's going crazy. Perhaps that fiend had worked some foul magic on her without her notice and now it was driving her to madness. A third knock. But what if she isn't going crazy? What if it's one of the teachers or the Headmaster himself, come to take her to her execution? She had to admit it was rather quick since executions take time to set up but she guessed that maybe they kept things prepared in case they needed to deal with someone right away.

"I want to talk."

Suddenly her blood ran colder than ice. _It was here._ It had gotten into the castle and it was standing outside her door. _It had come for her._ What could she do? _It_ was standing at the door so there was no escape. And even if she tried, there was no way she could fight it. Maybe she could jump out the window. Plummeting to her demise was better than being cornered by a monster but she didn't want to die. All she could do was stay frozen in pure terror.

"Someone save me," was all she could whimper.

In her blind terror she thought she heard a strange noise and then her door unlocking. _O Founder, It's coming in._ She heard the door open and then what sounded like something sliding across her floor. Then the door closed and locked once more.

"I'm unarmed," came the muffled voice, still outside her door.

What?

"I understand that you're scared so I've given up my weapon. I'm not here to hurt you, I only wish to talk."

Yeah right, and she was a future Knight Captain of Tristain. But she did hear something on her floor. And why was it still standing outside if it could get in so easily? No, it had to be a trick, some twisted mind game! But what if...? She knew it was a trap but she had to be certain. Slowly, very slowly, she lifted the cover off her head just enough to peek out. She couldn't believe it. There it was, the weapon, sitting on her floor and no monster in sight. Could it really be telling the truth? She couldn't believe what she did next. She quickly reached out and grabbed the weapon, then she spoke.

"W-w-ho are you?"

"My name is Linkara," replied the voice in a soft tone.

"W-w-what do y-you want with m-me?"

"I've come to apologize. I didn't mean to frighten you."

"B-b-but you...y-you-" she stammered, her grip tightening on the gun.

"In my defence, I did not know your country had such strict laws and fears about foreign magic. I did not mean to frighten or offend with my demonstration and I can assure you that I am indeed human."

How could she believe it? It could be hiding it's elf ears under its hat or maybe disguising them with elf magic. She needed to be sure but she couldn't open that door.

"I've spoken with your Headmaster and he explained everything to me."

O Founder, it knows. It knows that she's a failure. It knows that it's here because of her failures and it wants revenge.

"From what I've been told, you're brilliant."

What?

"I've been told that you're top of your class, full marks on all of your written assignments."

It...it was...complimenting her?

"But in practice, none of your spells work."

There it is. Just buttering her up to bring her crashing down again.

"To be honest, I'm just as terrible at magic."

...What? Without thinking, Louise got out of bed, gun still in hand, and made her way to open the door. Wait, she thought, stopping mid stride. It had to be a trap. It was luring her in by confusing her. She quickly ran back to her bed and hid once more, the weapon still tightly clutched in her hands.

"Go away!" she shrieked. She would stay there forever if she had to as long as it meant she would live.

* * *

Linkara stood at the door, having tried and failed to reason with the girl beyond it.

"I apologize, she has always been somewhat stubborn," Colbert said.

After he had returned from his mission, Colbert was asked by Osmand to escort Linkara to Louise's room in the hope that she could be reasoned with.

"It's fine. I honestly wasn't expecting it to work anyway. It's hard to reason with someone who's scared out of their mind," Linkara replied, still feeling guilty.

"Was it wise to give her your weapon like that?"

"I'm the only one it'll work for so the best she could do is try to throw it at my head."

"I see. Shall we move on to our second plan then?"

"We might as well. Hopefully she'll listen to you."

"I hope so as well. Are you sure you'll be able to make it back to Sir Osmand's office?"

"I'm pretty sure. Though it's kind of hard to miss since it's in the big central tower."

"You have a point," Colbert replied, chuckling, "Ah, before you go, may I ask what it was that you used to unlock Miss Valliere's door?"

"It's called a Sonic Screwdriver," Linkara explained as he held up the device, "I'll tell you how it works later."

"I greatly look forward to it," Colbert replied almost excitedly.

And so Colbert watched as the young man walked down the hall and prepared to attempt speaking with the young lady.

* * *

"Please go away, please go away, please go away..." Louise whispered to herself over and over as if her life depended on it. Which it did, as far as she knew. She didn't want to die this way, she would at least prefer to die in service to the crown if at all possible. That way she could at least bring some honor to her family. Suddenly there was another knock at the door.

"Go away!" she yelled again. Why won't this thing stop tormenting her?

"Miss Valliere? Miss Valliere, it's Professor Colbert. Please open up."

Louise couldn't believe what she was hearing. By The Founder, she was _saved._ She quickly moved from her bed and across the wooden floor to greet her rescuer. But what if...

"How do I know it's you?" she asked, fear still in her voice.

"What? Miss Valliere, please-"

"How do I know it's you?!"

"I gave you perfect marks on your last written assignment in my class. I also gave you bonus marks because you put more work into it than most of the others did."

Without thinking, Louise fumbled with the lock and wrenched open the door to grab tightly to the one who rescued her, appearances be damned. She began crying tears of joy as she felt him place his hands comfortingly on her shoulders. The monster was gone and she was _saved._

"Miss Valliere, there's something I'd like to speak with you about. Can we speak inside?"

"O-of course, Professor," she replied, immediately detaching herself from him and quickly straightening herself out.

They re-entered the room and Louise sat upon her bed once more, quickly grabbing up the gun which she had left behind in her mad dash to rescue, while Colbert sat in the chair in front of her desk.

"What is it that you'd like to speak about, Professor?"

"It's about your summoning, Miss Valliere."

"I see," she replied and lowered her head, all of her hope shattered with a single sentence, "I assume it's about when I am due to be executed?"

"There will not be an execution," he said, his voice and face becoming deadly serious once more.

"W-what?"

"No student of mine will be persecuted for something that was outside of their control and I will do everything in my power to make sure that they aren't."

Louise couldn't believe it, someone would willingly defy the law for a failure like her. That her teacher faced down a monster and would willingly face down the crown and the church for her made Louise feel a new found respect for her somewhat goofy teacher.

"Thank you," she said smiling, tears once more in her eyes.

"I would do anything for my students," he said with a reassuring smile, "About what I wanted to talk about, the Headmaster and I have spoken to the young man that you summoned."

"You did what?!" she exclaimed, rising from her seat.

"Rest assured, Miss Valliere, he is human and he isn't dangerous, especially since you're holding his only weapon," he replied in as calming a manner as possible.

"But he-h-h-he-"

"He's a long way from home and he didn't know how things work here. He deeply regrets causing any trouble and wants to make up for it however he can."

"You saw what he did! He's obviously dangerous!"

"Please be reasonable, Miss Valliere. If he were truly dangerous, don't you think the Headmaster and I would have dealt with him by now?"

"I...I guess..."

" The Headmaster and I believe that you should talk with him."

"But...!"

"Myself and Headmaster Osmand will be there the entire time, Miss Valliere. If he were to try anything, we will put a stop to it instantly. Please at least think about it."

"I...I will, Professor."

"Thank you, Miss Valliere. Now then, you've had a long day and you need your rest," Colbert said as he stood up from his seat.

Louise quickly turned to look out her window and saw that it was indeed nighttime, the twin moons hanging high in the sky. When did it get so late?

"I'll let myself out if that's alright, Miss Valliere."

"W-wait, Professor! What of my classes for tomorrow?"

"Headmaster Osmand and I have discussed it and we believe it would be best if you stayed in your room until this all blows over," he relied, regret evident in his voice.

"I understand, Professor."

"Sleep well, Miss Valliere."

Colbert walked to the door and closed it behind him. He then turned to look at what saddened him further. Someone had burned the word 'HERETIC' into Louise's door. He was thankful that she hadn't noticed that. As he walked down the candle lit hallway back to the Headmaster's office, passing by the many bedroom doors, he thought about how he was going to have Louise's door replaced without her notice.

* * *

Linkara was preparing for bed in the guest room that Osmand had provided. He had insisted that he could find his way here on his own but they convinced him to let Colbert escort him for safety's sake. He took special care to fold his coat although it was ridiculous considering the battles it's already been through. The room looked simple, a single sized bed in the corner, an end table beside it and a dresser on the opposite wall. A desk and chair sat beneath the windows, the curtains open showing two moons in the sky. It looked like his 'other world' theory was correct. Now he just had to determine if this was still his home universe or a different one.

"Linkara? Are you there, Linkara?" came a familiar female voice in his head.

"Margaret?" he thought in confusion, "How are we communicating? I thought you were with Louise."

"I'm still with her. I don't know how exactly but I think the ambient magic of this place might be boosting our connection."

"Well that's neat. Do you think it's possible to pull this off at home?"

"We'd probably have to saturate a massive area with magic to do it and I don't think any of us is that powerful."

"Ah well, it was worth shot."

As Linkara got into bed, a thought occurred to him.

"Hey, Margaret, were you sensing something weird about that Longueville lady? I think the magic boost must have let me sense what you were sensing because I can't normally do that sort of thing."

"Now that you mention it, she did seem kind of off. What do you think it could be?"

"Maybe she's some kind of villain or something and she was plotting at the time?"

"It's possible, especially with our track record."

"Let's try to keep an eye on her. We should get some rest, we've got a lot of work ahead of us."

"You know that disembodied souls don't exactly rest but I still appreciate the gesture. Sleep well, Linkara."

"You too, Margaret."

* * *

The next day, Louise Valliere awoke to the sound of her impending doom.

"By order of His Eminence, The Pope, we have come for the one known as Linkara."

Louise's blood ran cold for the third time in less than two days as she dashed from her bed to her window. She could barely make them out but she knew what she saw. Eight Holy Knights of the Romalian Church in full armor stood in formation in the entrance courtyard along with their dragons, led by what looked to be a young man with blonde hair and a dragon of his own.

"He will present himself to us within twenty minutes. If he does not, we are authorized to search for him," came the voice once again, most likely amplified by wind magic, Louise surmised.

She couldn't believe this. If this kept up, she would die of a heart attack before they get the chance to execute her. How could this possibly get any worse?

Moments later there was another knock on her door and Louise began mentally kicking herself despite her terror.

"Wh-who is it?" she called out, but part of her already knew.

"It's Linkara," came the voice she dreaded most, "I'm going to need my gun back."

"Wh-why should I give it back to you?!" she shouted, her tone a mix of fear and anger.

"The people outside are most likely going to want to examine it and they'll get suspicious if I just so happen to not have it. Plus I might need it if my plan to make them go away doesn't work."

Louise didn't know what to do. The thought of that _thing_ being defenseless and killed would mean her nightmare could end even if it also meant her own death. But Professor Colbert said he would protect her no matter what and that the monster could be trusted. Plus it said it could make the knights go away. She didn't want to die. She made up her mind, she may not trust... _it_ but she would trust her teacher. Louise looked hesitantly at the weapon sitting on her bedside table before she picked it up and walked to the door.

"Can you truly make them leave?" she asked through the door.

"I'll do the best that I can," he replied, "No matter what, I won't let them hurt you."

Louise hesitated once more before she opened the door just enough to throw the gun through and quickly closed it.

"Thank you," he said, and then she heard his rapid footsteps as he ran down the hallway, though she could have sworn she heard two sets of footsteps.

Louise dashed once more to her window and waited. Seconds turned to minutes but each felt like an eternity. Moment passed into moment before she saw the terrifyingly familiar brown hat and coat walk out to greet the assembled knights. He walked up to the blonde knight and he... What was he doing?! Louise quickly changed out of her frilly white nightclothes into her uniform and dashed out the door regardless of what Professor Colbert said the night before.

* * *

Linkara and Colbert ran down the hall as fast as they could as Linkara returned his Magic Gun to it's rightful place at his hip. They turned the corner and began to carefully yet quickly make their way down the stone stairs.

"Are you sure you can handle this on your own? This isn't what we planned for last night," Colbert said as they turned the corner on the stairs.

"I... I've been in... worse situations than this," the out of shape nerd replied as they left the stairs and made their way down the corridor.

After many turns down many hallways, they finally reached the front entrance of the castle. Linkara figured they had a minute to spare as he caught his breath. He looked around and saw a lot of people standing there, some students, others he assumed were teachers and staff, all looking scared at the prospect of being attacked by the knights outside as well as glaring at him because he was the reason they were in this mess.

"Are you sure?" asked Colbert, slight uncertainty in his voice, "These are Holy Romalian Knights, some of the best warriors in Halkeginia."

"I'm pretty sure. Where's Romalia?"

"It's a country to the south, past Gallia. "

"How did they get here so fast? I thought you stopped the mail," asked Linkara, beginning to suspect that things were more complicated than he thought.

"I did stop it. One of the students must have used their familiar to send a letter but I don't know how it got to Romalia that fast. It takes roughly three to four days to travel that distance by dragon."

"Do you think they knew I would be here in advance? Does this place's magic have spells that let you see the future?"

"Not that I'm aware of. We'll have to speak with Sir Osmand about this later."

"Sounds like a plan. For now, I'm going to take care of our current problem."

Linkara adjusted his coat and began to make his way outside. He could see the knights and their dragons standing before him, each wearing what you would expect a holy order of knights to wear: white robes covered in shining silver armor with swords at their sides and helmets on their heads, their dragons each with what Linkara assumed was their emblem placed on their foreheads, half blue and half red with a white pentagram layered on top. All except one, who stood front and center and wore a white military jacket with dark blue pants and gloves that almost reached his elbows, topped by a blue cape with a high collar. As Linkara drew closer, he saw that the man looked to be younger than him and had messy blonde hair. His dragon was different as well: pure white with a light violet for it's belly and wing membrane as opposed to the various browns and greens of the others. To say Linkara was nervous would be an understatement.

"Are you the one known as Linkara?" the young knight asked in a serious tone.

Linkara came to a stop in front of the blonde man and simply nodded, his face neutral.

"I am Father Julio Chesare of the Romalian Church, direct subordinate of The Pope. I would like to speak with you."

Linkara began walking forward causing the knights to reach for their swords. Linkara drew closer and reached out his hand, the knights tensing even further, only for Linkara to take Julio's hand and start shaking it vigorously.

"Well why din'tcha say soo? Always a pleasure to speak to a holy man, doncha know," he replied with the biggest grin and the thickest, most exaggerated Minnesotan accent he could muster.

"T-that's-s go-od to-o kn-now," Julio replied, off balance from the sudden shaking.

"Why don' we goo talk over here?" Linkara suggested as he pulled the priest over to one of the tables set up in the grassy part of the courtyard.

The other knights began to intercept but Julio raised a hand telling them to stand down for now. As they sat down, Linkara got a better look at the young man in front of him. He was definitely younger and he had heterochromatic eyes, one red and the other blue.

"Soo, what didja want to talk to me aboot?"

"Ah, yes. Um, what kind of name is Linkara?" Julio asked, still a little off balance.

"It's what I like to call myself when I'm oot n' aboot, o' course."

"Could you elaborate please?"

"O' course I can. See, where I'm from it's a veery common practice to take a fake name when a'travelin. Keeps the ol homestead safe, ye understand."

"I...see. Where exactly are you from?"

"Ooh, I'm from way out east."

"In the Elven Lands?"

Ooh noo, much farther."

"Rub'al Kalih?"

"Much much farther. It's a little place called Kickassia."

"That is a strange and...rather inappropriate name for a country," Julio replied, now sounding skeptical.

"Weell that's because it was founded by strange and rather inappropriate people. By the by, that is one beauty of a dragon you got dere, Father. Don't see to many albinos."

"Oh, why thank you. I raised her myself."

"Weell you did a fantastic job dere."

"Back on topic, how exactly did you come to be here in Tristain?"

"Now there's a tale all it's own so hold on to yer britches, Father. See, I was oot n' aboot in the forest...or was the fields? I can't rightly remember, must o' bonked my noggin at some point. Y'know I really should invest in better hat with more paddin' but I just can't get rid o' this one," Linkara said pointing to his hat.

"Could we continue your explanation please?"

"Ooh, my apologies, Father. As I was sayin', I was oot n' aboot, admiring nature, when all of a sudden I'm trippin' on a rock or a tree root or somethin'. As I'm fallin', I see that I'm about to collide with glowy circle and I say to myself 'well ain't that just the most peculiar thing' and then I fall through it. Must'a conked my coconut cause next thing I know, I'm wakin' up here."

"Are you positive that's how it happened?" the young knight asked, skepticism still in his voice.

"Does the Pope wear a tall hat?"

"Wha...yes, he does, but I don't see how-"

"Ha ha, I'm jus playin witcha, Father. O' course that's hoow it happened," Linkara replied, still grinning.

"Oh, ha ha, I see. Do you carry any weapons on you by chance?"

"Well o' course I do, Father. Can't go travellin' without a bit o' protection."

Linkara began reaching into coat, drawing the Magic Gun from it's holster and placing it on the table, causing the nearby knights to reach for their own weapons once more.

"May I?" Julio asked.

"By all means, Father."

Julio picked up the gun and examined it.

"This doesn't seem right," Julio said, "there doesn't seem to be any way to load it."

"That's because it ain't real, Father."

"Excuse me?"

"I absolutely can't stand violence, Father. As long as them bandits can't tell the difference at a distance, I'm safe as can be."

"That's actually not a bad plan. I do believe our business is done here."

"Glad to be of service to ya, Father," Linkara replied as they stood up and shook hands, "by the by, I like the way this Brimir fella sounds. You don' suppose I could spread the good word around when I head back home?"

"I don't see why not. Converts are always welcome."

"Glad to hear, Father. Have a safe journey now."

"You as well, Linkara."

The two men shook hands once more and departed, one heading back to the Academy and the other climbing onto his dragon and taking flight along with his fellow knights. As Linkara entered the entrance hall once more, he saw Louise standing there in stunned yet relieved silence along with the rest of the people there. As the crowd watched the knights fly into the distance and out of sight, they began to disperse though they still maintained a fearful distance away from Louise and Linkara. Louise chose that moment to speak up.

"H-how did you make them go away like that?" she asked in fearful curiosity.

"Simple, I lied through my teeth and they bought it," Linkara replied with a smile.

"B-but you...! How..?" Louise stuttered and tried to regain her noble's composure, "B-be that as it may, you have proven that you are somewhat trustworthy. I have thought about it and I would like to speak with you about our current situation."

"I would be delighted to speak with you. When and where shall we meet?"

"We shall meet in the Headmaster's office tonight after dinner with Professor Colbert and Headmaster Osmand supervising."

"I'll make sure not to be late."

With that, Louise turned and began making her way back to her room just as Colbert walked forward.

"Do you really think they believed what you told them?" he asked.

"Not a chance," Linkara replied seriously and began walking back to the Headmaster's office, "That was too easy."

"How can you be so sure?"

"If they were really after me or Louise then they would have taken us regardless of what we talked about or what silly accent I used. I think they were using an inquisition against a heretic as a cover for a reconnaissance mission."

"What do you suppose-...silly accent?"

"I was nervous and decided to try playing dumb on the spot. Wait, you didn't hear any of that?"

"I'm afraid not. Everyone must have been to afraid to try using a sound amplifying spell."

"Those sound pretty useful,"...

* * *

Four Days Later

Julio Chesare and his squad of knights finally touched down on the landing platform of Romalia's Grand Cathedral, it's polished stone walls gleaming in the sunlight. He quickly dismounted his dragon and handed the reins to one of the stable workers as he headed inside. As he walked through the polished marble halls, the red silk curtains trimmed in gold framing the stained glass windows, he came across one of the elder priests.

"Ah, young Father Julio. How was your trip, my boy?" he asked with a smile, his white robes in pristine condition as always.

"It went quite well, Father Dominico. Thank you. Could you possibly direct me to His Holiness? I must report on my trip."

"Of course, young Julio. The Pope is currently in the library, no doubt researching scripture in preparation for his next sermon."

"Thank you again, Father."

Julio bade the older man goodbye and made his way up the marble stairs and through the halls toward the grand library. As he entered, he immediately began looking through the many shelves but he knew his Master was in his preferred section as usual. As he rounded the corner, he saw him standing there dressed in his customary deep purple robes trimmed with gold and his equally colored mitre in it's place atop his long blonde hair. Pope Vittorio Seravare, Saint Aegis the 32nd, turned his gaze from his book to Julio as the younger man knelt in reverence.

"What do you have for me, Julio?" the Pope asked serenely.

"It is him, Master, just as you said."

"Are you positive?"

"Of course, Master. He attempted to obfuscate me with distractions and a strange accent but I easily saw through it. Although I must admit he has some talent at it."

"Very good, Julio. Our plans may now proceed."

"There was one problem, Master. He did not possess the Gandalfr Runes on his hand nor could I see if he possessed the Lifdrasil Runes."

"Oh? How peculiar. I doubt he could be the Lifdrasil but it could still be a possibility. It is more likely that he hasn't been Contracted yet. Send one of our knights to infiltrate the Academy and have him and his Master observed."

"As you command, My Master."

"Soon our quest for the Holy Land shall commence."

* * *

 **Authors Note:** It may take me awhile to update but I guarantee that this story will not die and it will be completed.


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